


I Need You

by Panthera888



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:47:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25574557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Panthera888/pseuds/Panthera888
Summary: Four months after Izzy quits the band, Axl shows up with a proposition. Will Izzy accept, or tell him to get lost?
Relationships: Axl Rose/Izzy Stradlin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Izzy had a rare moment to himself, sitting in a small recording studio in West Lafayette, plucking at his guitar strings. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t get the instrument to sound the way he wanted. He’d tried alternate tunings and none of them worked. He was hoping to put a new band together soon, but he wanted to record some demos before he did. He sighed and began turning the tuners on the guitar when he heard a soft knock at the back door. He ignored it at first, but the knocking grew more insistent. Izzy looked up at the door and could see through the little windows at the top that it was raining. He leaned his guitar against an amp and went to answer the door. He expected to find a technician on the other side. Instead, he found a man with long red hair, soaking wet, his teeth chattering in the cold.  
“Axl? What on Earth are you doing here?” Izzy hadn’t seen him in four months- not since he had quit the band.  
“I-,” Axl shivered and hugged himself, trying to get warm.  
Izzy shook his head. “Never mind that. Come in.” He took Axl by the arm and led him into the studio, closing the door behind him. “Um, there’s not really anything in here to dry off with. Sorry.”  
Axl looked around the studio. It was smaller than what he was used to working in, but it had a cozy feel to it.  
“Let me take your coat,” Izzy said, pulling the denim garment from Axl’s shoulders.  
“Thanks.”  
“When did you get into town?”  
“About an hour ago.” Axl answered.  
“How did you find me?”  
“I dropped by your house. Annica invited me to stay, but I wanted to come see you before you left.”  
“How did you even find my house? I’m kind of out in the middle of nowhere.”  
“I dropped by your mom’s house first. I can’t believe she’s still in the same place after all these years.  
“She’s sentimental like that. Doesn’t want to move out of the house where her family grew up. Have a seat,” Izzy said, motioning toward the extra chair.  
Axl noticed the guitar. “Are you working?”  
“I was trying to, but I wasn’t really getting anywhere.” He sat down in the chair next to Axl, “So, really, what are you doing here? I know you’re not visiting your parents.”  
“I miss you,” Axl said, looking at Izzy for the first time since stepping foot inside the studio.  
“Axl…”  
“I want you to come back.”  
“We’ve talked about this. Extensively. There’s nothing you can say or do to change my mind.”  
Axl continued as if he hadn’t heard Izzy. “Gilby is good, but he isn’t you. You can’t be replaced.”  
“I already have been.”  
“No, you haven’t,” Axl retorted, looking at Izzy again. “He doesn’t play like you; I can’t joke around with him like I did with you. He doesn’t laugh like you.” Axl said the last part quietly.  
“Maybe you should have thought of that before you tried to get me to sign a contract that would have totally fucked me over.”  
Axl winced. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Izzy…” muttered, scooting closer. “We need you. I need you.”  
“And what are you supposed to tell Gilby? Sorry, we don’t need you anymore, go back to playing clubs. It was nice knowing you,” Izzy mocked.  
“I’m serious Izzy.”  
Axl had a look in his eyes that made Izzy take a deep breath in. He had only seen that look on Axl’s face a few times before. Once, when they were sixteen, leaning in close, hovered over an old transistor radio, covertly listening to old rock n’ roll songs in Axl’s basement, and once when Axl was in a dark corner with some girl, pulling her in close by her hips. He knew where this was going. He knew when they were teenagers that there was always something simmering beneath their friendship, something neither of them dared to acknowledge. It was too intense, so they always ignored it, both of them chickening out and bolting whenever it became too much to handle.  
“Axl…”  
“We’ve always run away from each other before, Izzy. I can’t run anymore. I’m tired.”  
“Jesus, Axl. I’m married. Have you forgotten that?” Izzy asked, pointing to the ring on his finger. “You came all the way from California to tell me that you’ve finally decided to confront your feelings for me? You picked a hell of a time to do that,” Izzy said, standing up and pacing around the room. “You can’t just come waltzing in here and tell me that you ‘need’ me at this point in our lives. Five years ago, it might have made a difference, but now… Jesus, Axl.”  
Axl stood up and stilled Izzy with a hand on his arm. “I didn’t come here to upset you. You haven’t signed the papers yet have you? You can still back out of this. You’re not really married yet. Please, Izzy, there’s still time.”  
Izzy stared daggers at him. “You have a lot of nerve, Axl. Annie is my wife, whether we’ve signed the papers yet or not. I’m spending the rest of my life with the woman I love. Who are you to come here and try to ruin that?”  
“It’s just like you said, Izzy, all those years ago. No matter what, I’ll always be Bill and you’ll always be Jeff. Nothing can change that. Remember how close we used to be? I miss that.”  
“Then you shouldn’t have treated me like shit.”  
Before he knew it, Axl’s lips were on his, warm and soft and still damp from the rain. Memories of summers spent together, those lips curving into a smile whenever Axl- Bill- had a crazy, usually illegal idea for how to spend their afternoon, flew through Izzy’s mind. He had always wondered back then how those lips would feel on his, but he never dared to find out. He tried to fight the feelings that were awakening inside him. He put his hands on Axl’s chest, ready to push him away, when he felt Axl’s tongue on his lips. He gasped in surprise, and Axl slipped his tongue in Izzy’s mouth. A jolt of electricity ran throughout his body. Every protest he had, every bit of fear he held in his heart, melted away with the feeling of Axl pressed against him. Shit, he was fucked.  
Axl pulled away, and Izzy realized a moment too late that his eyes were still closed. He opened them to find Axl staring at him, that same needy look in his eyes.  
“Tell me you didn’t just feel that,” Axl whispered, leaning his forehead against Izzy’s.  
“We can’t do this.”  
“Please, Izzy,” Axl murmured against his lips.  
Izzy shoved him away. “Fuck off, Axl.” He picked his guitar back up and sat down. He found himself feeling things completely foreign to him. It wasn’t pure lust, although if he were being completely honest, he was feeling a rising heat in his body. It wasn’t the affection he felt whenever his wife- (fiancée?)- was near. It was a feeling that only came from knowing someone for a decade and a half and loving that person with every fiber of your being. He really was fucked. He was trying, and failing, to ignore Axl’s gaze. He tried to focus all of his energy on his guitar, lowering his head and staring intently at the strings.  
“You gonna stare at me all day?” he asked, after a few minutes had passed.  
“Izzy, we need to talk about this.”  
“No, actually, we don’t. Are you staying in a hotel? Because I think you should go back there.”  
“Actually, Annica insisted I stay the night at your place.”  
Izzy looked up from his guitar. “She what?”  
“Only for tonight. I have a flight out tomorrow evening.”  
“So, you thought you would come here, profess your undying love, then just walk right out of my life afterwards?”  
“You’re the one who ran away, Izzy.”  
“I didn’t run away. I made the decision to leave, for my own wellbeing.”  
Axl sat back down. Izzy went back to playing his guitar. For a few minutes, they just sat there, Axl watching him play. Izzy was trying as hard as he could to ignore his friend, but then Axl reached out and ran his fingers through Izzy’s thickening hair, noticing how it was starting to tangle together, and Izzy, startled, pushed down on the thinnest string so hard that it snapped, almost hitting him in the face.  
“Damnit, Axl!”  
“Dreads? You’re such a hippie.”  
“Get your fingers out of my hair.”  
Axl reluctantly lowered his hand. “Anyway, Annica wanted me to make sure you got home in time for dinner. She said you’re not eating right lately.”  
“Yeah, well, I’ve been working. Just give me a few more minutes. I’m almost finished.” Izzy pulled the guitar closer, inspecting the broken string. Really, he was just stalling. He could still feel Axl’s lips on his, and the feeling of Axl’s fingers running through his hair had sent him over the edge, and now he was hard. Thank God he had the guitar to cover himself with. That is, until Axl tried to yank it from his hands.  
“What the fuck, Axl?”  
“I don’t want to get in trouble with your girlfriend-“  
“Wife.”  
“Whatever. I don’t want to get in trouble for bringing you home too late.”  
“Well, that won’t be a problem, because you’re going to a hotel. Don’t tell me you can’t afford it,” he said, looking up at Axl.  
“I was invited to dinner too. She’s making enough for three people. Now come on, give me the guitar.”  
Axl managed to pry it loose, despite Izzy’s best attempt to hold onto it. Axl was simply stronger than him. Izzy shifted in his seat, willing his hard-on to go away, but when Axl turned back around, he saw it.  
“So, you do still want me. After all these years.”  
“I’ll say it again, Axl. Fuck off.”  
“Just give this a chance, Izzy.”  
“You should put your jacket back on. We’re leaving.”  
Izzy brushed past Axl, grabbing his keys and opening the studio door. “You coming?”  
Axl put his coat back on and fished his keys out of his pocket. “Yeah. I guess I’ll just follow you.”  
“Fine.”  
Izzy pulled into his driveway, Axl pulling in beside him.  
“No more touching, you got it?” Izzy asked when they reached the front porch.  
“Yeah, sure. Wouldn’t want to embarrass you in front of the wife.”  
“I’m this close to punching you,” Izzy said, holding his fingers a half inch apart.


	2. Chapter 2

Axl was quiet during dinner, and Annica could tell something was wrong with him.  
“I’m going to get another bottle of wine,” she said.  
Izzy wasn’t drinking- he never did anymore, but Axl had polished off more than half the bottle that now stood empty before them.  
“Stop looking at me like that,” Izzy said when she was gone.  
“Like what?”  
“Like you’re never going to see me again after tomorrow.”  
“All I want is you, Izzy.” He placed his hand on Izzy’s and gave it a squeeze, pulling back when he heard Annica rounding the corner.  
“You’re welcome to stay for a few days, Axl,” she said.  
“Thanks, but I really have to get back tomorrow evening.”  
“Maybe you and Jeff could go out tomorrow before you leave. Catch up on everything you’ve been doing since we moved out here.”  
“That sounds great,” Axl said.  
**************  
Axl went to bed early that night, claiming the alcohol was making him sleepy. In reality, he just couldn’t stand to watch Izzy and his wife together anymore. She was very affectionate towards Izzy, and Axl wished it could be his own hands, his own lips against Izzy’s skin. He realized belatedly that coming here had been a bad idea. Axl turned his head so that his face was planted in the pillow, and he screamed. The very thought of them upstairs, probably tangled together under the bedsheets was driving him mad. He contemplated leaving but decided that he had had way too much to drink to get behind the wheel. This was going to be a very long night.  
****************  
Izzy couldn’t sleep. He stared up at the ceiling, images of Axl, of their previous encounter, kept playing through his head like a videotape. He found his breath coming in short pants, and he was getting hard just thinking about it. He suddenly itched to touch his friend, to run his fingers over his neck, down his collarbone, along the swell of his hips, until-. He closed his eyes, trying to banish the images from his mind, but that just made it worse. He turned and looked at Annica. She was sound asleep, with her back towards him. His hard-on wasn’t going away anytime soon. He briefly considered taking care of the problem right there in the bed, but if he woke her, she would probably give him a funny look and ask why he didn’t just wake her. He reached out and brushed some of Annica’s hair back, revealing her slender neck. He started kissing and sucking on her neck, reaching a hand down and rubbing circles on her hips. She awoke with a soft sigh.   
“Jeff? What time is it?”  
“Around midnight. I need you, baby,” he said, moving his hand between her legs and applying pressure. She gasped and whispered, “Don’t we have a guest?”  
“He’s all the way downstairs. Don’t worry about that.” He raised his hand to the waistband of her underwear and pulled them down and off. She turned around and spread her legs open, pulling him in close by his hips. She felt his hard cock against her stomach. “Did you get started without me, baby?”  
“I didn’t want to wake you, sweetheart, but I need you,” Izzy said. What he really needed was downstairs in the guest bedroom, but he wasn’t about to admit that to himself. Annica pulled him in closer, then flipped him on his back and straddled him, positioning them so that his tip was at her entrance. She sunk down onto him and he shuddered. Izzy flipped them back over, ready to just pound into her already. He set a frantic pace, and she was starting to get loud. The last thing he wanted was for Axl to hear them, so he planted sloppy kisses against her mouth until she was coming, Izzy following close behind.  
“Oh, fuck A- Annie.” He had almost called out Axl’s name but had caught himself just in time. Apparently fucking his wife senseless hadn’t rid his mind of Axl. Izzy collapsed on the bed next to Annica, tears of frustration in his eyes. She curled up to him and was asleep again within seconds. His body was satisfied, but his mind wasn’t. He needed a cigarette, but he didn’t want to wake her a second time. He put his arms around her slender frame, once the only body he wanted to be pressed up against. Now, he couldn’t help but think of how different Axl’s body would feel against his, and he closed his eyes, banishing the thought from his mind before drifting off to sleep.  
******************  
It was just after midnight, and Axl was still awake. He was trying desperately to sleep, to stop thinking about Izzy upstairs, probably wearing nothing but his boxers. Sleep wouldn’t come, though, in part because he really needed to use the bathroom. He reluctantly threw the covers off and stepped out into the hallway, heading for the bathroom that was near the foot of the staircase. He reached the threshold when he heard it. Annica had never been the quiet type. He had learned that from their days on the road when Izzy was still around. There was no mistaking it. Izzy was upstairs fucking her. He hurried up and shut the door, hoping the bathroom fan would drown out the noises of their lovemaking. It mostly did the job, but Axl could still hear the odd moan as he stood in front of the toilet. He finished as soon as possible, throwing his hands over his ears as he walked back to the guest room. The last thing he wanted to hear was Izzy moaning her name. He quietly shut the door and went straight for his cigarettes, not caring whether they allowed smoking in the house. When he had smoked his cigarette down to a tiny nub, he stubbed it out against the bedside table and closed his eyes. Sleep came mercifully soon after.  
***************  
Morning came, and they sat through another quiet meal. This time, it wasn’t just Axl who seemed upset. It was Izzy too.  
“Jeff, Baby, you okay?” Annica asked.  
“Hmm? Yeah, I’m just- Just tired is all.”  
She gave him a quick smirk, assuming he was tired because of the previous night’s activities, and he smiled back. It was a fake smile, and he hoped she didn’t notice.  
“Well, don’t forget I’m going out with my friends this morning.”  
“You are?” Izzy asked.  
“What?” Axl asked simultaneously.  
Annica laughed. “I told you about it yesterday morning, remember Sweetie?”  
“Oh, yeah. I remember now.”  
“Where is your head today?” She asked, laughing some more.  
“Just, you know, work.”  
“Anyway, I might not be back until dinnertime. Please remember to eat lunch today. You’ve gotten so thin lately. You have me worried.”  
“I will eat lunch. I promise.”  
“I’ll make sure of it,” Axl said.  
“Good.” She leaned in for a kiss, and Izzy met her lips, feeling very awkward. “Axl, in case I don’t see you before you leave, I just want to say it’s been nice having you here, and I hope you have a safe trip back home.”  
“Thank you, Annica. It’s been great catching up.”  
Twenty minutes later, she was gone, and he and Izzy were doing the dishes. Izzy rinsed a plate off and handed it to Axl to dry.  
“So… she’s gonna be gone all day?” Axl asked.  
“Sounds like it. Did you want to go out or something?”  
“No, I think I’d rather stay in, if that’s cool with you.”  
Izzy handed him the last dish and dried his hands. “Axl, I know what you’re thinking.”  
“Do you now?”  
“I do.”  
Axl was quiet for a moment. “Do you think you could live with yourself if you never even gave this a shot? Because I don’t think I could.”  
Izzy didn’t answer. He just turned and started to walk away. Axl stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm. Their eyes met, and Axl could see all of the doubt and fear in Izzy’s eyes. Axl turned him, so that they were facing each other, and cupped Izzy’s face in his hands.   
“Don’t be afraid,” he said, rubbing his thumb along Izzy’s cheek.  
“I could lose everything, Axl. Everything I’ve worked so hard to build over these last four months.”  
“Or you could gain everything. One chance. One kiss is all I’m asking for. If you still don’t want me after one kiss, I’ll leave, and you’ll never have to deal with me again.”  
Izzy had tears building up in his eyes. He was afraid, but he wanted so badly to know what it would be like, their bodies pressed together, lips and fingers running over each other’s bodies. He nodded, and Axl leaned in and pressed their lips together. It was a chaste kiss. Axl wasn’t demanding, he didn’t try to part Izzy’s lips with his tongue, but it sent sparks of electricity throughout Izzy’s body, and he discovered that he never wanted Axl to let go. When he felt Axl starting to pull away, he stopped him with a hand on the back of his head and opened his mouth to give Axl access. Axl’s lips were on him again, hungry and insistent this time, having gotten the confirmation he needed, and Izzy didn’t make any effort to stop him when Axl lifted his t-shirt up and over his head, tossing it to the side. Axl’s nails raked across Izzy’s back and he moaned into Axl’s mouth, spurring Axl to dig his nails in further. Izzy shivered and Axl pulled away to take his own shirt off. A fleeting thought ran through his head that Annica could come home and see exactly what was happening, but then, she had only just left. He and Axl had hours before she would return. The thought both terrified and excited him. Axl leaned in and sunk his teeth into Izzy’s neck, leaving a mark, then ran his tongue over the same spot.  
“Fuck, you taste good, Izzy. I always knew you would.” He reached down and unzipped Izzy’s jeans, running a finger along his hardening cock as he did so, making Izzy gasp.  
“What are we doing, Axl?”  
“I want to make love to you, Izzy. If you’ll let me.” He ran his hand over Izzy again, keeping it there and pressing into him.  
“Please tell me you want this, Izzy. Don’t let this continue, only to tell me to fuck off at the last minute.”  
Despite his better judgement, Izzy answered, “I want this, Axl. I need to know what you feel like, even if it’s only this once.”  
Axl’s lips crashed against Izzy’s, and their tongues battled for control, Axl eventually winning when he reached down to touch Izzy again, leaving him in a weakened state.  
“Where is your bedroom?” Axl whispered in his ear.  
“Upstairs.” Izzy sighed and leaned into Axl as Axl continued stroking him. “The guest room is closer.” Izzy took Axl’s hand and led him down the hall, shaking, nervous. They shouldn’t be doing this, but here they were.   
Once they were in the bedroom, Izzy reached forward and undid Axl’s belt buckle. Axl stared at him with lust in his eyes as Izzy unzipped his jeans and pulled them down, over his hips. They fell to the floor, and Izzy reached out and tentatively stroked Axl’s cock.  
Axl threw his head back and moaned. He put his hands on Izzy’s hips to steady himself, pushing Izzy’s jeans down in the process. They stood there, breathing heavily as they ran their fingertips over each other, finally allowing themselves to explore each other’s bodies after fifteen years of denial.  
“Bed,” Axl sighed, guiding Izzy backwards and down onto the mattress. He reached for Izzy’s boxers, pulling them down and tossing them on the floor next to his pants. He rubbed Izzy slowly, making him pant and gasp when Axl touched a particularly sensitive spot. Axl moved lower on the bed and looked up at Izzy one more time before sticking his tongue out and licking him from his base to his tip.  
“Oh, fuck…” Izzy said. “Do that again.”  
Axl gave him a few more slow licks before taking him in his mouth as far as he could, which was surprisingly far, Izzy thought. He lifted his hips off the bed slightly, trying not to fuck Axl’s mouth. Axl put a steadying arm across Izzy’s hips and began to suck, swallowing around Izzy.  
“Axl…If you don’t stop soon, I’m gonna…fuck.”  
Axl removed his mouth from Izzy, giving one last lick to the head before moving up and kissing Izzy with a passion he didn’t know he had in him. He was about to ask whether Izzy wanted to be on the top or bottom when he decided to stay on top. Izzy was beautiful like this, mouth parted and panting, eyes closed, his eyebrows knitted together in ecstasy. Axl wished he could take a picture to remember this moment forever. He planted a soft kiss to Izzy’s neck and told him, “Be right back.”  
Izzy opened his eyes to see Axl reaching in his pants. He pulled out a bottle of lube. “You motherfucker, you planned this!” Izzy said, annoyed and aroused all at once.  
“I came prepared. If you had rejected me, I probably would have used it on myself in a hotel room.” Axl got back on the bed and took his own boxers off before coating himself in lube. “Ready?”  
Izzy nodded, staring at Axl’s cock.   
“Have you ever been with a man before, Izzy?”  
Izzy shook his head, eyes still fixated on Axl.  
“Neither have I. I’ll go slow.” He gently spread Izzy’s legs apart and positioned himself at Izzy’s entrance. He reached down and kissed Izzy, tongues dancing together languidly. He slowly pushed himself in the first few inches, and they both gasped, pulling apart for air.  
“Fuck, Izzy, you feel good.”  
“So do you.” He ran a hand through Axl’s hair, and after a moment, he quietly pleaded, “More.”  
Axl slowly pushed himself the rest of the way into Izzy, pulling out before pushing back in again. He couldn’t remember any girl he had been with ever feeling this good, and he was convinced that he and Izzy were made for each other. Axl ran his fingers through Izzy’s hair. Izzy whined as Axl changed position slightly.  
“You okay, Iz?”  
“More than okay. Keep hitting that spot,” he said breathlessly.  
Axl picked up the pace, and Izzy gripped the sheets as the sensation of Axl hitting his prostate became overwhelming. “Fuck, Axl. This isn’t gonna last…”  
“Come for me, baby,” Axl said.  
Izzy reached down and started stroking his own cock, matching the rhythm Axl was setting. Axl moaned and leaned down for a sloppy kiss. “Come on, Izzy. I want to watch you come for me.”  
With just a few more thrusts, Izzy was coming, tangling his fingers in Axl’s hair and lifting his head up off the pillow, watching as Axl followed close behind. They collapsed onto the bed, Axl rolling over and pulling Izzy close so that their noses were touching.  
“I’ve waited so long, Izzy…These past four months have been unbearable without you.”  
“I’ve missed you too,” Izzy whispered. “More than I wanted to admit.”


	3. Chapter 3

They laid together for what felt like hours, running fingers and tongues over each other’s skin, teasing, and discovering sensitive spots.  
“What time is it?” Axl asked.  
Izzy looked past him to the bedside table, glancing at the clock. “Almost one. We should get dressed,” he said, taking Axl’s face in his hands and giving him one last kiss.  
“Wouldn’t want the wife walking in on us,” Axl said.  
Izzy felt a stab of guilt, and Axl rubbed away the worry lines on his face. “What are you going to do now?” he asked.  
“I don’t know,” Izzy said, as he got up to retrieve his clothes. “This can’t continue. I’ve made a commitment and I can’t break it.”  
“I think you broke it the moment you lead me into this bedroom,” Axl said, joining him.  
“Let’s not talk about it right now, Axl. I just want to enjoy the little time we have left.”  
Axl nodded his head silently, stealing glances at Izzy as they got dressed. Izzy ran his hands through Axl’s tangled hair, smoothing it out, and Axl returned the favor. He saw the mark he had left on Izzy’s neck. “You might want to do something about this.”  
“Shit, I forgot about that. Wait here for a minute.”  
When a minute turned into ten, Axl trudged up the stairs, following Izzy’s path. He heard a commotion in what he assumed was the upstairs bathroom and opened the door to find Izzy rummaging through a drawer. “What are you doing?”  
“I’m looking for Annie’s concealer. There’s so much shit in here,” he said, picking up a bottle, then putting it back in the drawer.   
Axl laughed, looking through the drawer and pulling out a container. “Here. This is it.”  
“Thank fuck she and I have almost the same skin tone,” Izzy said, pouring some of the liquid onto a finger.  
“Have you forgotten what makeup looks like already? It seems like it was only yesterday that we were all covered in this stuff.”  
“Yeah, well, glam sucks. How does this look?” Izzy asked, pulling his hair back and looking in the mirror.  
“Perfect. I can’t see anything now.”  
“Good.”  
Axl wrapped his arms around Izzy’s waist and leaned his chin on Izzy’s shoulder, staring at their reflection. “You’re beautiful, Izzy. Always have been.” He pulled Izzy’s hair to the side and kissed him on the side of his neck without makeup on it. Izzy sighed and leaned into his embrace, closing his eyes for a moment.   
Axl leaned down and started kissing Izzy’s neck again, careful not to leave any marks this time. Izzy leaned back further and could feel that Axl was getting hard again.  
“Already?” he asked.  
“What can I say? I can’t get enough of you, Izzy.”  
Axl reached around and started rubbing Izzy, and soon he was hard again too.  
“She did say dinnertime, right?” Axl asked.  
“Yeah.”  
“We have time for another round,” he whispered seductively into Izzy’s ear.  
“Come on, then. Into the bedroom.”  
This time, he led Axl into his and Annica’s bedroom, and they quickly removed their clothes once more, eager to touch each other again.  
“On your back, Iz.”  
“Geez, you’re bossy.”  
“Do you like it?”  
“I’ll like it if you make it-oh, God-if you make it worth it.”  
Axl had his mouth around Izzy’s cock once again. “I love the way your dick tastes.”  
“Don’t stop, Axl,” Izzy panted. “God, where did you learn to do that?”  
“I’m just doing what girls have done for me. I’m glad it’s working for you,” he said, before continuing.  
******************  
They were so caught up in each other, that they didn’t hear the front door closing.  
“Baby, I’m home early! Jeff?”  
She knew he was home. Both his and Axl’s cars were in the driveway. She went into the kitchen to get a drink of water and saw the dishes from breakfast still sitting in the dishrack, and she could tell that lunch had not been made. She shook her head. She should have known Jeff would skip his midday meal, again. She left the kitchen and headed up the stairs. Halfway up, she heard a noise. It sounded like a moan. That was odd. The moan was followed by a whine, and she recognized he husband’s voice immediately. And where was Axl? She was starting to get concerned. Maybe Jeff was sick, and that’s why he had skipped lunch. He sounded like he was in pain. She opened the door, expecting to see her husband curled up, clutching his stomach.  
“Jeff, baby, are you ok-?” She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Izzy, his hands tangled in Axl’s hair, and Axl’s mouth around his cock. “Jeff! What the fuck are you doing?!” Axl abruptly let go of Izzy, and Izzy’s eyes flew open.  
“Annie! This isn’t- Fuck!” His protest that ‘This isn’t what it looks like’ died on his lips. It was exactly what it looked like.  
Axl fumbled for his boxers, using them to hide his erection, and Izzy pulled the blankets over his lower half. “I can explain.”  
“Like hell you can! How long has this been going on?” Annica asked.  
“Calm down, baby, please.”  
“Don’t ‘baby’ me! How long have you been fucking other people?”  
“It was only Axl. I promise, nothing happened between us before yesterday.”  
Annica scoffed. “Yesterday?”  
Izzy looked away in shame.  
“At the studio, then?”  
Izzy still couldn’t meet her eyes. Axl stood frozen, unsure what to do. He couldn’t leave. She was blocking the door. He settled for turning around and putting his boxers on, then throwing on the nearest t-shirt. He realized too late that it was Izzy’s, and he blushed in embarrassment. Never in a million years did he think this day would end in him standing in front of Izzy’s wife-fiancée-, wearing her husband’s shirt after being caught sucking him off. “I should go,” he said. Neither of them seemed to hear him.  
“Is this the first time?” Annica asked Izzy.  
“No,” he said, after a pause.  
“Did you fuck in our bed?”   
“No,” he whispered.  
“But you two still- while I was gone?”  
Izzy just nodded and turned to look at Axl with tears in his eyes. He felt like he was about to lose the two most important people in his life, and he wasn’t sure which one he was grieving for more. Axl met his gaze and that immediately answered his question. Life would be hell without Annica, but never seeing Axl again would be like a death sentence. Axl was his best friend, and really, shouldn’t that title have belonged to his wife?  
“Are you going to talk to me about this, or are you going to sit there like a dog with its tail between its legs?” Annica asked.  
“Can I at least get dressed first?” Izzy snapped.  
“Why, are you shy now? Like I haven’t seen your dick before!”  
“Annie, please!”  
“Fine, I’ll be downstairs when you decide to stop hiding.” She slammed the door behind her, and Izzy ran a hand over his face.  
“Fuck!”  
“Iz…I’m sorry. I should never have come here. I’ll pack up my things and go.”  
“No, not yet. We need to figure this out. Just, wait here for me, okay?”  
Axl nodded and sat down on the bed, taking Izzy’s oversized shirt off and handing it back to him. Once Izzy was out of the room, he went downstairs to the guest room, carefully avoiding Annica, and put all of his things back in his bag, ready to leave and find a hotel at a moment’s notice. He could hear shouting upstairs, then Izzy’s voice. “I love you, please don’t go…” Axl pressed his hands against his ears. Memories of his parents’ arguments raced through his mind, and he just wanted the screaming to stop. After what felt like ages, he removed his hands from his head and heard…nothing. He ventured out into the hallway, where he could make out Izzy’s form on the couch. He was sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest, head down, his hands gripping fistfuls of his hair so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. Axl looked around, expecting to see Annica, but before he could spot her, he heard Izzy’s muffled voice.  
“She’s gone.”  
“Fuck, Izzy. This is not how I imagined this would go.”  
Izzy lifted his head up, and Axl saw a red mark across his cheek that was clearly a handprint. He’d been slapped. Hard. “And just how did you imagine this would go, Axl? Huh? Showing up at the studio one rainy morning and telling me how much you needed me? What a fool I’ve been. I let you in, once again, and once again, you’ve brought only chaos and confusion into my life.”  
“I love you, Izzy. Nothing will change that.”  
“And I loved Annica. Now I don’t know what to feel. I’m torn, Axl. Just go away. We’ll talk more later.”  
Axl reluctantly turned toward the bedroom, risking one last glance at Izzy before going inside. Izzy’s hand was splayed open, revealing Annica’s engagement ring. Izzy stared at it for a moment, before throwing it. It hit the window with a small ding, and Izzy buried his head in his knees again, sobs wracking his body. Axl had to fight the urge to run to him, instead sighing and going back into the bedroom.   
***********************  
After what felt like hours, Axl tentatively opened the bedroom door and peeked outside. He saw Izzy in the living room, scrunched up on the couch, asleep. Axl walked towards him quietly, not wanting to wake him. Izzy’s eyes were red and puffy. One of his hands was sticking out over the edge of the couch, and Axl noticed his wedding ring was missing. Looking around, he found it on the floor under Izzy’s hand. He must have dropped it in his sleep. Axl put the ring on the coffee table, then knelt down next to Izzy. He reached out and brushed away a lock of hair that was covering Izzy’s face, tucking it behind his ear. Axl tiptoed to the kitchen and grabbed a piece of paper, which was usually used for making grocery lists, and wrote Izzy a brief message. He put it on the coffee table under the ring and went back to the bedroom to tidy up and grab his overnight bag. He made his way to the front door, turning his head to look at Izzy one last time before stepping outside and driving to the airport.


	4. Chapter 4

Izzy woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. He was confused at first, not quite remembering why he had fallen asleep on the couch, or why his eyes seemed to hurt so much. Then he remembered. Annica was gone, and he had been literally caught with his pants down. He rubbed a hand over his face before picking up the phone. Izzy braced himself for an onslaught of anger from one of Annica’s friends- or worse yet- his own mother. Instead it was Annica on the other end of the line. She sounded more defeated than angry, and it made Izzy’s heart hurt. He did love her, just not in the way that he loved Axl. He agreed to meet her at a little café in town. He had thirty minutes to get dressed and meet her. He went to the guest room and knocked on the door. When he didn’t get an answer, he opened the door only to find the bed made and the room empty. He crossed the room and looked out the window. Axl’s car was gone.  
“Shit.”  
He went back into the living room, and it was then that he saw the note and his ring on the table. He put the ring to the side and read the note.

Izzy,  
I’m sorry I ruined everything. I was a fool to come here. I’ll understand if you never want to see me again. All my love,  
Axl

Izzy almost started sobbing, but he reined in his feelings, knowing that he had to leave soon. He stuffed the note into his pocket, put his wedding ring back on, and grabbed his keys. He found Annica’s ring on the floor and picked it up, then headed out.  
*********************  
Izzy walked into the café, his presence announced by the ringing of the bell on the door. He quickly found Annica seated at the back of the building, her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. He slid into the seat opposite her, unsure of what to say. Izzy couldn’t quite meet her eyes.  
“You wanted to talk?” he asked.  
“Is he still at the house?”  
“No. He left.”  
Annica nodded. “The signs were there, you know? I should have known,” she said, shaking her head. “I saw the way he used to look at you. I saw how the two of you were always together. God, I’m so stupid.”  
“You’re not stupid,” Izzy said, reaching for her hand. She pulled away.  
“I mean, it was right in front of me. I thought you were just close friends, but looking back, the signs were there. I loved you, Jeffrey, and you completely ruined my trust in you. It’s like you held my heart in your hands, then threw it on the ground and stomped all over it. I’m broken now, and I don’t know what to do about it.”  
Izzy was on the verge of tears. “I never meant to hurt you. I have my weaknesses, and in a moment of weakness, I betrayed you. I hope one day you can forgive me, but I understand if you can’t.”  
“A moment? First the studio, then our bedroom. It was more than just a moment.”  
Izzy didn’t dare tell her about the additional time in the guest room.  
“Last night wasn’t even about us, was it? You just wanted him, but couldn’t have him, and I was the closest warm body.”  
“No, it wasn’t about us” He pulled her ring out of his pocket and put it down on the table in front of her. She made no move to take it. “So where does this leave us?” he asked.  
“I don’t know, Jeff. I want to be with you, but I can’t trust you now. I just wish he had never come here.” She was expecting Izzy to say he felt the same, but when he didn’t, a white-hot anger boiled up inside her. “You don’t even regret it, do you?”  
Izzy was at a loss for words. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he didn’t want to hurt her by telling her the truth. He looked up, trying to form some kind of words of comfort, when he saw Annica lift up her cup, and felt steaming hot coffee being splashed all over his face.   
“Fuck you, Jeffrey. What a nice chat this has been.”  
Other people in the restaurant were starting to notice them now, and Izzy grabbed some napkins and started wiping his face.  
“Annie…”  
“I’ll be at the house this weekend to get my things. Until then, just stay out of my life, before you do any more damage,” she said, before walking away. People were still staring at Izzy, and he stared back until they looked away in embarrassment. Three days ago, everything had been normal. How had he come so far in such a short time? What had he said about weakness? He laughed, a bitter, humorless sound, and finished drying his face off before exiting the restaurant. Rather than drive home, he decided to go for a walk. He wandered aimlessly for a while, until the sun was starting to set. He looked up, searching for the nearest street sign so that he could make his way back to the restaurant. It was only then that he realized where he was. He turned and peered down a few houses. The lights were on inside. He walked up to the door and knocked. The door opened after a few seconds, and he was greeted by a middle-aged woman.  
“Jeff?”  
“Hi, Mom.”  
“Come on in.”  
Izzy stepped inside the familiar house. He always felt comforted and safe whenever he was here.  
“This is a nice surprise. What brings you here?”  
Izzy sighed and turned to face his mother. “I fucked up.”  
***************  
Axl looked out the plane’s window. It was dark out now, and if he tried hard enough, he could almost make out the Milky Way from his vantage point. He sighed, thinking about how much Izzy loved sitting outside, smoking a cigarette and looking at the stars. He felt bad about leaving without saying a proper goodbye, but then, he had already ruined Izzy’s life without the need for a tearful farewell. His thoughts were interrupted by the passenger sleeping next to him, who was snoring loudly. Axl flagged down the stewardess the first chance he got.  
“Excuse me, ma’am, do you have any earplugs?”  
“I’m sorry, we’re all out.”  
“Oh. In that case, can I get some vodka?”  
She gave him a sympathetic glance. The man looked miserable, after all.  
“I’ll see what I can find.”  
“Thanks,” Axl said, his mind turning back to Izzy. It had felt so good to hold him in his arms, to finally know what it was like to call Izzy his own. Izzy wasn’t his though, he had to remind himself. The stewardess came back with a small, trial-sized bottle of raspberry vodka and Axl gave her a look that said, ‘Are you kidding me?’ Nevertheless, he reached out and took the bottle, opening it and downing the whole thing at once. It wasn’t nearly enough. He wanted to get drunk and fall asleep, and this tiny bottle wasn’t going to cut it. He leaned back and closed his eyes, folding his pillow so that it covered both ears. After what felt like an eternity, he finally went to sleep.  
*****************  
Izzy was sitting on his mom’s couch with his head in his hands. “And then she walked in and saw everything. She hates me now. She threw her coffee in my face. God, I’m pathetic. Walking down the streets with coffee stains on my shirt, smelling like some goddamn arabica beans or some shit.”  
Sonja was sitting next to him, looking pensive. “Is she coming back?”  
Izzy lifted his head. “I don’t think so. She wants to get her shit out of the house in a few days.”  
“Where is Axl right now?”  
“Gone. He went back to California. He didn’t even tell me he was leaving, just left a note while I was asleep.”  
“What are you going to do now? You can’t just throw away a marriage.”  
“It’s too late for that. She’ll want a divorce now, I know it. Besides, with Axl, I felt something that I’ve never felt before. I don’t know how to describe it.”  
“Try.”  
“He’s all I can think about. Even in the midst of this mess, I want him back. I just want to drop everything and follow him to California. Jesus, I’m so fucked up,” he said, putting his head back in his hands.  
“You’re not fucked up, honey. How long have you had feelings for Axl?”  
“Since high school,” Izzy whispered.  
“And you never acted on that?”  
“Never.”  
“Why not? He obviously felt the same things for you.”  
“We were too afraid, until last night.”  
“Honey, I can’t tell you how to live your life, but if you’ve had feelings for someone for that long, and you have a chance at being with them, you should follow your heart.”  
Izzy looked up again. “Follow my heart? You just got done telling me that I can’t throw away a marriage.”  
“Not if you love the person you’re married to. Do you love Annica?”  
“I thought I did.”  
“And now?”  
“Now… I just can’t get him out of my head. I’ve never felt anything like this before.”  
“Then I think you know what you have to do.” Sonja said.  
****************  
Three weeks later…  
Italy

Axl slammed the microphone down onto the stage. This whole leg of the tour had been a mess, and they had only been on the road for two weeks. The tech people still couldn’t fix his earpiece, and he could hardly hear himself over the music. The crowd booed as he walked backstage. The rest of the band didn’t know what was wrong with him, just that he had been in a horrendous mood for the past few weeks, alternating between sleeping all day and night and smashing everything in his hotel rooms. Duff suggested alcohol and Slash suggested a doctor. They both had backed away when they saw the enraged look on his face, vowing not to get in his way again. Therefore, he was taken by surprise when a voice asked him, “What the fuck are you doing? Get back out there!” Axl was ready to explode when he turned and saw who was talking to him. He had to do a double-take.  
“Izzy? What are you doing here?”   
“I came to watch the show. And to see you.”  
Axl looked around. “Where’s Annica?” he asked tentatively.  
“Gone. She packed up all of her stuff and went back home to her family. We filed for divorce just before she left.” He took a drag on his cigarette, then threw it to the ground. “It was a mutual thing.”  
Axl moved closer, not quite believing that Izzy was truly here. He ached to reach out and touch him.  
“You gonna go back out there, or what? Wouldn’t want another riot.”  
The tech guy who was responsible for Axl’s earpiece walked by, and Izzy moved back into the shadows. He didn’t exactly want to announce his presence to everyone.  
“Hey, you!” Axl called. “Fix my fuckin’ earpiece. But first, get on the mic and tell the audience that I’ll be back out in ten.”  
“Yes, Mr. Rose.” He scurried away and Izzy stepped forward.  
“Axl. I came here to tell you that I want to give this a chance. Maybe we could start over, make a new beginning, if you want to.”  
Axl was stunned. Quite frankly, he didn’t think he would ever see or hear from his best friend again. “You want to be with me?”  
“Yes. If you want me.”  
Axl reached forward and put his hand at the back of Izzy’s head, pulling him in for a kiss. They eventually had to pull apart for air, and when they did, Izzy reached inside his pocket and gave Axl a key.  
“I’m in a little bed and breakfast in town. Three Rivers Inn, room four. I gotta go now. Will you come see me later?”  
“You can bet on it.”  
Izzy gave him one last peck on the lips. “Now go back out there and wow the crowd. I’ll be waiting.”  
“You better be naked when I get to your hotel room.”  
“The sooner you finish the show, the sooner you’ll find out.”  
“God, I’ve missed you.”  
“I’ve missed you too, Axl. See you around.” Izzy lit up another cigarette and walked down the hall, out the exit and into his car. Axl smiled for the first time in three weeks, then turned and went back onstage.  
“Do you motherfuckers know where the fuck you are?!” he screeched. The crowd went wild.


End file.
